“Besmirched with a buzz of abusive phrases!” A communal cry of the dystopic femininity, that echoes after almost every slang that we verbally use in India. Whether it is a circumstantial crisis, a vocally ignited mayhem or a conversational miscarriage, femininity for their tradition-long inculpated reflection, often becomes the prospective recipient of promiscuity. Be this the tongue of a man or a woman, abuses navigate their way through the exploitation of the feminine plausibility always.
Though, a section of Feminism stringently dictates on why shall women not abuse, or why them being blatantly offensive is deemed an outrage of their timidity, while men roam their tongues free around slangs? The argument holds true to its momentous significance and ambiguity, until we examine the afferent words and their intrinsic interpretations, that are, erstwhile assuaging the imbecile feminism, themselves exploitative of the women’s character and piety. Something as superficial as mere bothered by enforcement, and not exercise! And we've blindly been persuading our women to defiantly uphold the rights for something that assaults their own fraternity!
While deconstructing one of such countrified ‘gaalis’ – We questioned “Why shall a mother, sister or any feminine persona be, into sexually outrageous liaisons with any of the peer-peeps of their sons, brothers or nephews?” A mother while speaking to us on this said, “I feel bantered, humiliated and even accused of bearing kids, that dragged myself into the obscenity! Though I’m the mother of two kids, unfortunately but, it repents me of my womb as I’m nagged at every word they speak out of fun or frustration it is.” “I would never understand, why shall my kids be repeatedly mocked under reminders and utter-blamed for himself being born out of my womb, a feminine womb, perhaps?” “Why is it still a typicality to be pronounced a human, who's been delivered out of a woman's reproductive organ, if on the other side, it gives an Indian son, immense pride to have been enunciated mother's brave sons? Is it a disrepute to be blamed for coming out of me, undermining all the months of pregnancy that taxed me my blood, tears, and my sweating dates? Is it all that took me an emotional endurance, got weighed against a couple of licentious phrases?” From Planet to Nature to Nation to Language to Plants, which has not been summoned by the prefix of Mother yet? Who’s been awarded the right to derive any sexual identity, association or indignity of such feminine idealism?
And the even distressing problem is the entrenched hypocrisy, to which these surmounting ironies are unsettling and nonnegotiable. “I've heard my son abusing me euphemistically, and swearing on my motherhood just in line with speaking next. It's more or less like ‘listen ma*****od' Trust me bro, ‘maa kasam!’ What kind of depiction it is of any mother?” – the mother asks!
A country, that goes by the domicile of motherland, had borne sons that call her forbearer-a sexual object? An object to be fu***d, used, verbally assaulted, blamed for and relegated to the designation of a mere prostitute, through the tailoring of tongues?
Is this tongue-tailoring destined to drape respectfulness to mothers and sisters, only at homes and at podiums? And why is it distinguishing at gender? To substantiate, the excuses certainly approach with a baggage of elaborations, obliviously claiming that 'it was just a situational crisis', 'he was being a jerk, deserved some good verbal dose', 'I was fettered with frustration, what else would you expect of my senses if not senselessness, sorry okay' or 'it was a fun-time consort, obviously I could never mean it that way'!
I must say, of a lady, Thank You for if it all was mere to rebuke or reprimand a miscreant or even bare, enjoy a punch line tolled on my sexuality, but now stop this gratification please.
This engendered confiscation didn't cease, but sprawled to sheathe all the other feminine kin, who couldn't help evolving the subject to this frivolity. These expletives often employ colloquial epistolary, to instigate rhythmic enunciations of words, that are demeaning against the gender, race or the community of ladies. The mockeries stem out as chronic ramifications of the misogynistic and chauvinist mentality that even the most educated or civilized cherish, without contemplation! The problem is not at its frequent enchantment, but that its origin, which is inherently transcribed from a bigoted and sexist backdrop, targeted at maligning the feminine image; or even not the fact that men are the culprits of tongue, because even women succumb to abusing equally often, given to how prominent and outnumbered these are.
But to an uncertainty of the age it might consume at obliteration, we must aspire to immune the feminine nerves from any cleavage that appeals to a vocal miscarriage or conceals a sexually explicit absurdity, proclaiming it to be circumstantial, invariable or non-directional. Because it is! It is defamatory, it is derogatory and it is utter directional. Explained of why we don't have abuses for father, brother or any masculine pupils yet? Perhaps because their sexuality isn't transcended a public oath of prestige, and no autonomy is solicited to canonize their modesty based on their sexuality. They haven’t borne a womb to cradle a child inside, as their feminine consorts, because, they've been embedded with the reproductive analogous anatomies that act as the perpetrator for it. Does an opening, a hole, a vent, suffice any man to enforce discretions on a woman’s character? Or this shallow mentality of the society emphasizes on it? Isn't this emphasis, the core principle that drains the majority to abash any person of his maternal sexuality to tarnish his reputation, because the feminine social nobility draws upon her biological serenity? In simple and original terms, a man, other than her spouse, if outraged her chastity, or infringed intimate binds, might turn her socially impermissible and could penalize her to a whole life of indignity and isolation! This penalization is what one wants to incur on a person and his collars, as a stain of being diminished by the abuser through sexual affiliations with his/her maternity. But the same doesn't orient with the infringing genders, why? This entire concept goes in alignment with the explanation of having fun or compensating one's frustration?
Well, why doesn't the infuriation ever turns malaise to a father's sexuality? It is simply because abuses have been taken quite lightly, and never really introspected over their affinity with the feminine or masculine prospects! This happens to stay plateaued, if the space for thoughtfulness is impounded by the excuses weighing balloons. Though, there shan't be a case, one might ever testify to adapt masculinity as another air of breathing obscenity, but that undauntedly persists a question of why masculinity not being verbally taxed yet, as femininity has been! The colossal patronization of a woman's chastity to her, including her family's social reputation, should be retracted, and her being sexually engaged with anybody must be sought an act of fair choice, till it's coming out of a bilateral will. This mere rectification in the thought process would cross loyalties to anything petty, and would resolve not just the triggers of abusiveness, but turn out to be logically more respectful towards women, sterilized of atrocities or stigmas and ratified of honest rapports, with each feminine soul existing on this earth. Turning into another parallels of rationality, would wipe out the very need of abusing, as then the men and the women alike, must be pre-acquainted, that any conversation or situation could be counter-tackled by the precise use of servility, through words of wit, or... be it arms of action!
Written By : Upasana Kashyap
Image Credits: Anshika
Research Credits: Sahej
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